Thank you, 2019
The year 2019 was all about healing and reclaiming my personal power. On this day, December 31, 2019, I am proud to say that I am far more ready than I ever was to face a brand new year. Here's the difference between the beginning and the end of my 2019 Instagram posts:
Here are the things that I did in order to turn my life around in 2019:
I started this year with so much doubt and fear, isolated from the people and things I love and care about. I didn't know who I was anymore and where my life is headed. All I know is that I needed to heal from my past wounds.
I attended my childhood best friend's wedding. She is the most broken person I know, yes even broken than I was. (Drugs, gang, crimes, name it!) She gave me a spark of hope that everything will turn out great in the end. All's well that ends well.
I quit Instagram for a while and took a step in the right direction. I started setting-up my my work station at home, cleaned my bedroom, rearranged my books, bought some scented candles and fresh flowers from the store. I did things that I've always wanted to do, like having a Korean BBQ dinner in traditional Korean costume. I fulfilled my lifelong dream of watching The Phantom of the Opera on stage! I also said yes to many invitations, like exploring Luzon with my colleagues.
All my life I accepted that I belong to the computer and books, that my body is too weak for sports, until I started to do boxing for fun. I enrolled in a 30-day boxing course at 7:00am in the morning. The commitment I made to wake up every 5:30am in the morning to tire myself out in the gym helped me regain my self-confidence.
I spoiled myself BIG TIME. Bought all the things that I refused to buy for myself all these years. I finally realized that I was always putting other people first before my own needs.
Finally regained my spontaneous spirit! I went to random beach adventures every week. Also had so much fun pub hopping with new found friends!
This time, I actually really opened myself up to other people and formed great friendships. I started cooking and baking again for friends and family.
Planned a Blackpink-themed baby shower for one of my college best friends. I was also reunited with a group of people who are very close to my heart.
Celebrated my 30th birthday with friends and family. Did a little reflection and realized that I have no regrets on whatever happened in my 20s. I made a lot of bad decisions but I learned lessons along the way. Plus, it wouldn't be as fun if everything went so smoothly, right?
I decided to take my mom to Europe. I've never been anywhere but it has always been on my list. Why wait for an adventure? Just go for it! I went to Switzerland, Germany, France, and Italy with the love of my life. The trip will always and forever be special because I was able to treat two of the most important people in the world - me and my mom. Also unexpectedly met a good friend before the trip ended, almost like an angel sent from God to remind me that life is beautiful.
Recouped. Basically, I just maintained my fitness regime and took care of my small circle of friends. I also planned out my finances to prepare for the upcoming year.
Before the year ended, I was able to form a special bond with my female colleagues. We call ourselves The Flower Power. Growing up in all girls school, I was always surrounded by my girls. I guess more than romantic partnership, I really needed that kind female support to be happy.
Uncertainty will always be there, but from what I learned over the past year, all that matters is we make a choice to become better. The right choice is usually obvious, but can be scary in the beginning. Have a little faith and let this gigantic intelligent universe take care of you. :)